pain gain

I've created a blog today, precisely speaking, The 13th of July 2009 AD. I don't know what to write. Because I'm an ametuer in this field.
I've always wonder why I've been so unknowingly come across situations In my life wherein I come across duel of conscience and social order. I dont feel it alright. Because when I come across someone who is in need of help in a, say, A hostile situation. I feel I am thrown into a eworld ruled over by material gains. Let me put it across in a more simple way. I 'm travelling in a bus sitting comfortably while others stand besides me. Then someone really in need to sit enters the bus. He or she looks around anxiously to find a kind face of those who are not bothered to stand up. The needy eyes reach me. I'm wiling to stand up. My morality says to me to act quickly. But my selfishness arrests me and in a jiffy I withdraws myself and sit like a corpse overpowered by an unknowing emosion of possessiveness. And when somebody alse gets up and the needy gets the seat I feel shrunken inside a corpsy shell. I feel like I am cut short of humanity and I sit feeling so much guilty. It is a stupid feeling, like when you find someone dieing and even if you can save him you are doing nothing. You feel like you are the shylock of the present and literally an asshole. I like to tell you the matter so that any of you can tell me a possible corrective measure. Finally may the force be with You and me.................................................... beyond this it is written in another universe.....